


Life's Little Problems

by Unfathomablespace



Category: Jeeves & Wooster, Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
Genre: Teamwork
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 02:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unfathomablespace/pseuds/Unfathomablespace
Summary: Bingo comes to Bertie (Jeeves) to help him out of an engagement, seeing as they have experience in the area. However Bertie is tired of Jeeves having to do all the work himself and lends a hand.





	Life's Little Problems

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clearinghouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clearinghouse/gifts).



> This one goes out to clearinghouse, who actually did my exchange gift last year. This is chapter one.
> 
>  
> 
> And a huge thank you to my beta reader, Cuddyclothes , who has to put up with a lot. Fair play.

"I'll tell it to you straight, old man, I can't find my way to seeing your problem."

Bingo glared as I stood unevenly, still clutching my side from laughter. I sunk into my armchair, anchored suddenly down by his gaze.

Bingo was a good sort, a pal, one might even go as far as to say- a chum. We went to school together, you know. And it is with this in mind that I take it upon myself to inform the general public that he is also a bit of a blot on the proverbial parchment paper. All through his life, Bingo has chased after girls with all the fever of one being chased himself.

And now it is this very predicament he has found himself in. Some young girl, red haired, cleverer than us two together but evidently at least somewhat silly or possibly disturbed, has decided that Bingo is the ticket and no other will do, much to the poor trout's chagrin.

"Oh, Bertie, she's so forceful! She doesn't like me at all, only the "after moulding" photo of me she holds firmly in her mind's eye!"

My skin crawled at the thought. I had come close, in my life, to permanent disfigurement from the sheer amount of attempts at moulding me. If Michelangelo had given David even a tenth of loving attention that my Aunt Agatha has viciously hurled at me, the statue would be able to walk and talk as we do. The code of the Woosters dictated that I must help him.

"I know all about that, I am at the point where I can convincingly hold a conversation about pretty much anything without any clue what we are on about."

Bingo looked me for a moment as if trying to decide if that was an attempt at self deprecation or self praise.

"That's all well and good for you, you shyster, but Marceline wants my thoughts on these things! You ass! That is the problem!"

I resented the tone and the general rudeness but understood more firmly the peril Bingo was in. This Marceline sounded downright formidable.

"Oh Bertie, quit this pontificating and call for Jeeves.”

If his previous rudeness had rankled this practically cut me to my quick. I had a mind as any other man. I contained multitudes. I tilted the noble head up in defiance.

"He is out"

Bingo visibly crumpled. His head fell into his hands and he looked for all the world like a broken man.

"Oh!" He howled. I was now vexed. Besides,I didn't think it was as bad as all that.

"Bingo! It's not as bad as all that!"

"I'm doomed. For certain and forever."

"I will fix it, dear boy. I am a man of science and philosophy now. Picture me, if you will, as a student of Jeeves. I have to had picked up something these past few years."

I was aware, that there was a note of uncertainty in my own voice. Bingo didn't seem convinced either. We sat in silence for an uncomfortable minute. I have always been under the impression that I could hold up with the best of them, and I can. However, even I must admit that Jeeves is on another level, barely even human in his ability to untangle sticky situations. Could I measure up?

"No, in fact, I will."

"Get Jeeves? Oh Bertie, this is-"

"Damn and Blast Bingo, no! Cast Jeeves from your mind! Forget about him. Do away-"

Before I could finish my tirade, Jeeves swept in through the front door. His face didn't flicker but he carried the air of a harassed mother who has arrived home to see her ward fraternising with a bad sort. Bingo, seeing his chance, leapt up. I dived to meet him and ended up tackling the enthusiastic fellow to the floor. Jeeves looked on for a moment and made a swift exit towards the kitchen.

"I forbid it! I am sick and tired of Jeeves having to untangle half of Mayfair's petty-"

"It's not petty!"

"PETTY problems."

He slumped onto the floor.

"I am an independent! I walk! I breathe! I think! I am more than capable of taking care of a trivial matter such as this. You asked for my help, Bingo and you shall receive it."

Jeeves once again took this opportunity to appear. He stood outside the door, indicating to me, the discerning individual, that he meant to meddle. I looked at him and tried to discourage this with my face. I didn’t want Jeeves thinking I was mad at him when I was too busy been miffed with BIngo. He seemed to catch on to this and instead of his usual “Can I be of any service?” softly said,

"Will Mr. Little be staying for tea, sir?"

I took a look at my friend and drew up all my indignation, which was not easy, given that I lay slightly breathless on the floor beside him.

"He will not."

With the grand gesture of my cold, imperious self done with, I softened. I moved to the side to allow Jeeves to pick him up. I dusted him off and gave him a reassuring squeeze about the shoulders. I turned to give Jeeves an equally reassuring smile but the blighter ruined the moment.

"Is there any way I can be of service?"

"No, no, old fruit. On your way Bingo."

Jeeves accompanied us, largely out of habit, and only just reached the door in time to open it for us as I steered him out my rooms. He gave Jeeves old last, desperate and beseeching look before scampering off, hat in hands. As soon as he was distant my irritation and swagger disappeared. I was the fond one once again. I could feel Jeeves’ eyebrow twitching its customary eighth of an inch beside me. I turned to him, patted his shoulder wisely and went off to think before tea.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumble is redplanetproblems  
> My twitter is moyturakills  
> Go nuts, kids, and for the love of god, please, comment.


End file.
